Good day to All. This Month’s Food for Thought is about, of course, Love.
We all love in one way or another. We love our Parents, sometimes. (Not true). We always love our parents and siblings. But, sometimes, we may not like them very much. It is hoped that we truly love our spouses or significant others. But, again, sometimes we don’t like them very much. We also love our children, unconditionally, and still have times we don’t like them.
Another person we love unconditionally but sometimes don’t like is ourselves. Our ability to love is always there. However, we may, occasionally, cut ourselves off from it. Meaning we don’t give love and refuse to accept love. As an example? We get burned by a spouse or lover. It hurts. And we shut down to stop being hurt. Unfortunately, we also shut down our ability to love ourselves. Over the years we close ourselves off completely. It seems like love has deserted us and we fall into a pit of negativity wondering why no one loves us, why we can’t find happiness anymore and why we are so lonely. The negativity flows from us like smoke from a factory. We create this emotional and mental situation ourselves.

The primary ingredient in any reciprocal form of love, is that we first love ourselves. I know, it’s very difficult to do when we start thinking and feeling it’s all our fault. We beat ourselves up over the things we could have said or done and then we don’t like ourselves very much. Loving yourself is primary to anyone being able to love you in return. Loving yourself is about focusing on your accomplishments and being proud of what you have done. Applauding yourself for seeing things through to the end and not giving up.

Negativity has no place in self-love. Think about it. If you look in the mirror and nit-pick every feature of your face like the nose is too big, eyes are too small, the skin is too sallow, etc., you will convince yourself that you are ugly. If you continue to do this every day, you will see yourself getting uglier every day. The mind sees what you tell it to see. And it doesn’t take much for your mind to start believing it. Focus on what you do like. Are your eyes a beautiful summer’s day blue, a warm, sultry sherry brown? Are they a cool gray that changes color with the sunshine, rain or your emotions? Build your beautiful face from what you like most. Add something beautiful to it every day.

It’s the same with the emotions of the heart. Do you belittle yourself because you face change with fear and anger? STOP IT!!! Change is as much a part of life, as water is a part of the earth. When you accept that nothing stays the same forever, face the new challenges with hope, love and determination. If it doesn’t work out, it’s not necessarily YOUR fault. It may have been about one of those lessens we all have to learn to grow. Embrace it. And try again. Embrace your ability to love yourself, unconditionally!! We all have flaws that we must accept in order to correct them. There is no quick fix. Not if you want it to last a lifetime. But once you reconnect with self-love, all the other forms of love follow. People will feel the positivity exuding from you like beam of sunlight. They will come to you. They will want to be with you and around you because you are showing them the positive vibration and energy of loving yourself. Unconditionally!
Think about it……and feed your mind with positive food.
Blessed Be.

Have you ever asked yourself “Why do I put up with crap from others?”
Ask YOURSELF these questions:
Are they trying to see what your breaking point is?
Are they angry or hurting and need to take it out on someone?
Do they know that you’re a timid person who detests confrontation?
Are they trying to assert control through fear?
How should you handle these outbursts and the disrespect associated with them?

If you’re an enlightened soul, you know that many people have issues with everyone and everything. When they reach their breaking point, they will find someone they can vent at. (I am guilty of this myself, occasionally.) It doesn’t matter if it’s your boss, husband/wife or a total stranger. If someone has reached that point, they can’t control themselves. They open their mouth to take a breath and everything just flies out.
We live in a world of tension, stress, depression, anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, desperation and for some, nowhere to turn.
We may get help from our faith, whatever faith that may be to you. We may vent at others, we may keep it inside until WE blow, or we may just work ourselves into a physical and mental collapse. Many just forget to think about why people choose them to be their target. Instead of curling up inside and simmering later or blowing back at your nemesis, try to understand where it’s coming from. Is this person overworked, underpaid and fighting to keep their family above water? Is it possible, that maybe they just lost their job, were given a sad medical diagnosis, were betrayed by a friend or loved one or are simply just having a bad day?
When I am faced with these situations, I try to let the person vent. When they have blown themselves out, I will ask if I can help them or try to get them to tell me why they are so upset. People, in general, can only be ignored for so long before they get angry and blow up. And I don’t mean they are talking and you’re not listening. I mean that they get angry because they feel like the Universe is against them. Nothing they say, do, plan ever works out the way they want. It always seems to backfire leaving them more and more frustrated.
You, as a target, can diffuse a situation by remaining calm. Listen and actually HEAR what they are ranting about. They will blow themselves out once they see that someone, anyone, will listen to their rant (fear) about what’s going on in their life. Too often, the strong will turn it into a shouting contest and then a physical one. The timid may stand there and take it with out saying a word. But then they go home and cry because they had nothing but be there. Sometimes the timid will go home and berate themselves for not standing up to the “bully” and then get angry and drive themselves nuts with thoughts of all the things they could have said or done.
Think about how you would react if you were in that person’s shoes. Have you ever been desperately frustrated to the point of not being able to breath? Would you be looking for the nearest wall, or face, to punch?
We all have bad days and, as corny as it sounds, maybe a bit of compassion would go a long way to alleviating a person’s anger at their life, job, circumstances. If you were desperately in need of a sounding board and there was no one you could talk with, wouldn’t you boil over and start yelling at anyone in the vicinity? A co-worker, husband/wife, complete stranger? Take a moment to think about it before you answer with a resounding NO.
You should never have to take crap from people. But sometimes, sometimes, you can do a lot of good for people by just listening.
Think about it.