Food For Thought

Have you ever asked yourself “Why do I put up with crap from others?”

Ask YOURSELF these questions:

Are they trying to see what your breaking point is?
Are they angry or hurting and need to take it out on someone?
Do they know that you’re a timid person who detests confrontation?
Are they trying to assert control through fear?
How should you handle these outbursts and the disrespect associated with them?

If you’re an enlightened soul, you know that many people have issues with everyone and everything. When they reach their breaking point, they will find someone they can vent at. (I am guilty of this myself, occasionally.) It doesn’t matter if it’s your boss, husband/wife or a total stranger. If someone has reached that point, they can’t control themselves. They open their mouth to take a breath and everything just flies out.

We live in a world of tension, stress, depression, anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, desperation and for some, nowhere to turn.

We may get help from our faith, whatever faith that may be to you. We may vent at others, we may keep it inside until WE blow, or we may just work ourselves into a physical and mental collapse. Many just forget to think about why people choose them to be their target. Instead of curling up inside and simmering later or blowing back at your nemesis, try to understand where it’s coming from. Is this person overworked, underpaid and fighting to keep their family above water? Is it possible, that maybe they just lost their job, were given a sad medical diagnosis, were betrayed by a friend or loved one or are simply just having a bad day?

When I am faced with these situations, I try to let the person vent. When they have blown themselves out, I will ask if I can help them or try to get them to tell me why they are so upset. People, in general, can only be ignored for so long before they get angry and blow up. And I don’t mean they are talking and you’re not listening. I mean that they get angry because they feel like the Universe is against them. Nothing they say, do, plan ever works out the way they want. It always seems to backfire leaving them more and more frustrated.

You, as a target, can diffuse a situation by remaining calm. Listen and actually HEAR what they are ranting about. They will blow themselves out once they see that someone, anyone, will listen to their rant (fear) about what’s going on in their life. Too often, the strong will turn it into a shouting contest and then a physical one. The timid may stand there and take it without saying a word. But then they go home and cry because they had nothing but be there. Sometimes the timid will go home and berate themselves for not standing up to the “bully” and then get angry and drive themselves nuts with thoughts of all the things they could have said or done.

Think about how you would react if you were in that person’s shoes. Have you ever been desperately frustrated to the point of not being able to breathe? Would you be looking for the nearest wall, or face, to punch?

We all have bad days and, as corny as it sounds, maybe a bit of compassion would go a long way to alleviating a person’s anger at their life, job, circumstances. If you were desperately in need of a sounding board and there was no one you could talk with, wouldn’t you boil over and start yelling at anyone in the vicinity? A co-worker, husband/wife, complete stranger? Take a moment to think about it before you answer with a resounding NO.

You should never have to take crap from people. But sometimes, sometimes, you can do a lot of good for people by just listening.

Think about it.

A. V. Shanna Neal

Shanna, originally from New York, became a West Virginia transplant 30 years ago. After starting her first business in her 20's--and several since--she is certain that Crystal Lotus Shoppe will be her last. Bookkeeper, Purchaser, Marketer, Manager, Legal, and so much more, the many hats that she wears seem to always keep growing. Surrounded by excellence, she has many lofty goals for CLS, some of which she feels will definitely be accomplished. Exercise and healthy eating proponent (who occasionally eats pizza for convenience), she hopes more people find the time to stop in at CLS and experience the calm, loving atmosphere that is sometimes vibrating with laughter and craziness.

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